He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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