I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
