Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
