Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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