I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
