Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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