I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
is wine microwaveable?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
