I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
