I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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