he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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