Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
