at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
