He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
