She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
