yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
