Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
