We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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