Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
