Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
