So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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