i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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