pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
