I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
