Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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