oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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