there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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