i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
