the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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