i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
