The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
