I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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