Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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