I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Randomize