I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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