my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
