okay pat passed out under dana's car
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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