Don't you send me to vm
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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