I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize