He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
