I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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