I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
