im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
