Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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