I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I can tuck mytits in my pants
it wasn't lemon gatorade
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
