About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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