it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
