We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i came on her dog
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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