Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
