i think my mom watched the whole time
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Randomize
