i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
