Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
