Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
her facebook's as public as her vagina
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
