her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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