I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
