dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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