Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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