VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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