? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
