I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize