All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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