At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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