You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
