We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
