Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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