What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
