I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
