the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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