fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
