these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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