His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
