every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I queefed so loud it echoed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You can't just leave with hair like that
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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