FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
