Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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