I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
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for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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