Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My nipple is on Facebook.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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